It might be tough to date someone who is depressed, and it is not unusual. Depression affects at least 7% of adults in the United States, resulting in low motivation, low self-worth, and a variety of other problems.
How can you love and assist someone suffering from depression without also acting as their therapist? Here's all you need to know about depression and how to deal with it.
How depression can impact a relationshipA depressed spouse should not be treated lightly, since it will most likely have an impact on all facets of the relationship. The spouse suffering from depression frequently lacks ambition and energy, and then feels terrible for not being able to contribute meaningfully to the relationship.
According to study, depression can lead to decreased libido and sexual dissatisfaction, as well as making other daily chores more difficult. And when one partner is depressed, the other is at a loss on what to do.
They may feel as if they've lost the person with whom they fell in love, leading them to wonder whether they can stay in the relationship. They are upset because they no longer have the relationship they once did, and it might feel like a bereavement process. Because they believe they are disproportionately holding back the relationship, this typically leads to disappointment and resentment.
As one partner learns to control their symptoms and, hopefully, improve, the other must learn to maintain space and provide support while determining their own boundaries.
What to do about itNot just the depressed partner, but also their significant other, must accept their circumstance. Acceptance on both sides, where both people can lean into the difficulty and try to work through it, is one of the keys to dealing with this.
2. Don't try to fix themNobody wants to feel like they're being fixed. Practice holding space instead of continually offering solutions. 'I'm here to listen,' or 'I want to better understand what you're going through right now,' and 'I'm here for you despite what depression may be telling you,' let them know.
3. Prioritize compassionThe most important thing you can do to support your partner is to have compassion for the person who is depressed and to avoid blaming or judging them. It may appear straightforward, but given how these kinds of interactions can generate animosity, it may require deliberate action.
4. Avoid toxic positivitySimply telling someone to "remain positive" is ineffective. In fact, the reverse is true. In reality, it will make them feel much worse—weak, ashamed of their sadness, and less secure in your relationship.
5. Practice honest communicationThis is a no-brainer in any relationship, but it's especially important when one partner's melancholy prevents them from being completely honest. One thing that frequently occurs is that they remain silent and carry the burden of the situation with them throughout the day. For example, a depressed partner may not have the energy to mow the lawn that day, but being able to express and convey this openly will be extremely beneficial to the relationship.
6. Help them find resourcesIt's crucial to remember that someone suffering from depression should not turn to their partner for help. Encourage them to seek assistance, whether it's from a support group, a therapist or psychologist, or even a life coach. It will be extremely beneficial to the relationship, and the person with depression's significant other has committed to taking steps to treat or address the depression.
7. Support their purposeHaving a sense of purpose is important for one's general well-being, and depressed people frequently battle with a sense of meaninglessness. Supporting rather than pushing your partner's objectives and purpose can make them feel more empowered. If their goal is to protect their children, for example, you could say something like, "I know you were looking forward to playing outside with the kids today. What can I do to help you make this happen?"
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